5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

Every couple is going to fight from time to time. The fight might be about the latest political issues or your cleaning schedule, or even something as small as what to eat for dinner. Fighting allows people to work things out, according to psychotherapist and executive coach Daryl Appleton, Ed.D., LMC. He mentions that it’s also important how couples fight since it could lead to a bigger problem if there’s toxic fighting involved.

Understanding How Couples Should Fight

It’s important to understand relationship conflict to understand how couples should fight successfully. There are common mistakes that couples make when they fight, but there are also ways to fix them to have healthy disagreements. There are techniques like using better body language and even being aware of what words you use. Putting them to use can help build stronger relationships that are ultimately based on trust, healthy communication, and respect.

Here are 5 techniques to utilize when fighting with a couple.

Fight About One Issue at a Time

Couples Should Fight About One Issue at a Time
5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

Typically, couples will start with one argument and wind up fighting about something else. It prevents you and your partner from getting to the root of the original problem, which can bring it up again later. Stick to one issue at a time.

Don’t Use Generalizing Terms Like “Always” and “Never”

Don’t Use Generalizing Terms Like “Always” and “Never”
5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

It’s a common mistake to use these generalizing terms that ultimately exaggerate the situation. These can lead to a defensive response, a feeling of powerlessness, or that the problem is too big to solve.

Avoid Crossing Your Arms and DON’T Avoid Eye Contact

Avoid Crossing Your Arms and DON’T Avoid Eye Contact
5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

Most couples aren’t aware of it, but their body language can say a lot. When you cross your arms, clench your fists, roll your eyes, or even point fingers at the other person, it can add a negative connotation. These are closed-off behaviors, and they can communicate that you’re not open to the conversation. They can also convey aggression toward your partner and make the argument violent.

Don’t Resort to Cursing or Name-Calling

Don’t Resort to Cursing or Name-Calling
5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

Even when arguments get heated or more intense, it’s crucial to not resort to insulting the other person by name-calling or cursing. It’s a bad habit, and it does more harm than good. Instead of fighting about a topic, you’re more so attacking the person’s character.

Avoid Fighting at the Wrong Place and Time

Couple Having an Argument
5 Techniques That Successful Couples Use When They Fight

Disagreements can come up at the wrong time, but that doesn’t mean that you should stop what you’re doing to deal with the issue right then and there. Access the scene and maybe bring up the issue at a later time in a more comfortable setting.