How to Build Better Relationships Through Boundaries
Setting boundaries includes communicating how we feel about the relationship and taking more control over our own treatment in the setup. They mainly entail the expectations and needs of the parties involved that help the bond feel safe and homely. If you feel in any relationship that you cannot say no and have to put others’ needs and desires in first place, it’s time to think about setting boundaries that help you feel better.
Why Do We Need Boundaries?
Boundaries can be seen as a new self-care routine where putting yourself first helps you become more empowered, maintain your identity, and ensure that your relationships are healthy and nobody can take undue advantage of you. They also help gather authenticity from both members and make the relationship truly shared. They are crucial aspects of any relationship and as the bond changes, so do the boundaries. Boundaries can be physical, intellectual, emotional, material, or have to do with time. If you’re having difficulty drawing the line, here are various ways to effectively set boundaries in your life.
Figure Out Your Limits
The main obstacle to setting boundaries is the apprehension about losing the person we care about after saying no. Find the areas where you are not willing to negotiate. Determine your capacity and stick to it. Don’t worry about any guilt or what the other person might feel as you should have the utmost priority.
Express Yourself
Tell the other person about your needs firmly – but calmly – so that they don’t instantly become defensive. Be assertive about what you feel and need so that there is no confusion. It’s best to do it in person so that you are able to explain your issues properly and have a discussion if needed. While the conversation is not always pleasant, the results will make you feel way better about yourself.
Prioritize
Be flexible in the things that you feel uneasy about. You can divide them into the ‘must haves,’ and the ‘would be nice’ that can be negotiated. Whatever you decide, you have to listen to your gut on what is acceptable and what is not. Through this, you can create a collaborative discussion so that it becomes as mutual as possible.