To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

Angry couple having argument on sofa
To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

All couples fight. Some do it more often, others — more intense, but the common theme is that conflict is unavoidable. And, although conventional wisdom dictates we should avoid conflict, when disagreements occur it’s best to tackle them headfirst. Relationships can suffer if you don’t (that includes your close circle of people, too), and your connection with your partner can be strengthened when you do.

Relationships Can Benefit From Conflicts

Relationships Can Benefit From Conflicts
To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

Research on how couples fight shows that arguing can actually be good for relationships as long as they argue ‘properly.’ That means showing respect and appreciation for your partner’s feelings and thoughts, together with other factors we’ll discuss below. If you can resist the urge to be hostile and dismissive, an argument can ultimately bring you two closer to one another. Here is what else you can do to ensure you’re putting up a fair fight so to speak.

Make it a Debate Rather Than a Conflict

Man and woman talking at table
To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

In a way, it’s all about how you frame your argument. If you come off as dealing with conflict as opposed to having a debate with your partner, the entire tone of your argument will be more hostile and head in a negative direction. Choose your words wisely and resist the temptation to be impulsive. It will go a long way.

Argue With Conviction but Listen as if You’re Wrong

Argue With Conviction but Listen as If You’re Wrong
To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

Now, that’s a tough one, but a crucial factor that separates good relationships from less successful ones. Often, we get consumed by our sole belief we are right and refuse to listen to someone else’s perspective, even if that someone is our significant other. It’s important to open your mind and ears to their perspective!

Give the Benefit of the Doubt

Couple in love drinking coffee and have fun in coffee shop
To Answer a Burning Question: How to Fight Fair in Relationships

Is it possible that they are right and have a solid point against you? To successfully finish your debate, it’s crucial that you try to entertain the idea you may be wrong. Try to confirm you’ve understood their perspective, so you know you’re on the same page. This may be difficult for an ego-driven person, but relationships should be more important than that, right?