How to Deal with Kids’ Emotional Intelligence
When it comes to empathy, here are some of the most efficient ways to teach kids with higher emotional intelligence.
Emotions Can Be an Important Opportunity to Connect
This may not appear difficult, but it is. When our children are performing poorly, parents frequently feel compelled to express disapproval — otherwise, they reason, the child will believe they are okay with the behavior. Additionally, when children are distressed, their distress triggers what is known as a “righting reflex” in parents, or the desire to use logic to resolve whatever the child’s problem is. However, logic does not have the ability to calm emotions; empathy and validation do.
Acceptance, Rather Than Judgement
When children with higher emotional intelligence are upset, parents frequently hear subtitles telling them to seize the opportunity to teach. However, turn off the subtitles. Ross Greene, a child psychologist who states, “Children do well when they can,” and Barry Kaufman, a psychotherapist who states the same thing, “people are always doing the best they can.” Assume the charitable position that, while your child is in distress, the distress represents their best effort at the moment — and that is acceptable. Each blunder does not have to be a teachable moment. From this position of grace, you can then begin peeling back the layers to ascertain what is going on with them.